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HOW TO GET TO HELL |
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Reworking
the Ten Commandments
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1
In your list
of priorities, you come first. It's what YOU want that's important.
What are the things that turn you on? Money? Power over other people?
Possessions? The cult of the perfect body? These are the things you should
concentrate on, and let the devil take the weakest.
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2
'Watch your language' is for wimps. If it makes you feel better, say it. |
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3
You'd like to spend time with your family and have some time
for yourself, but hell, you just can't right now. Maybe in the future,
when you work through what you've got to do. Yes, certainly you're
going to take some time off soon. Anyway, you're only doing it for
them. |
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4
Life is a struggle, so it's best to get rid of any family ties that might
take up unnecessary time or hold you back. Moreover, you don't want a lot
of fuddy-duddy advice from old people who think they know better than you.
They don't. After all, didn't they make mistakes in their own lives? Who
are they to give advice? |
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5
Of course you think that capital punishment is wrong. The deliberate taking
of another human life is a crime against society. This does not however
extend to abortion. If you get pregnant and the time or situation is not
good, then the sensible thing is to get rid of 'it'. You can always
have a baby later, when the timing is better for you. |
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6
Nobody's going to know if you play around a bit on the side.
You'll be careful. Who can it
hurt? Anyway, people weren't meant to be monogamous. It's just not natural. Go
ahead. |
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7
One of the ways of getting ahead is to destroy your opponents. Find out
what you can about them, and make sure the right people know about it. So
it's not exactly true? Who cares, as long as the dirt gets smeared on
them. But don't let it get traced back to you - it might damage your own
image. The worst sin is getting caught. |
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8
Don't get too hung up on the truth. It's for losers. You have to be
creative when you're talking about something, especially if you're talking
about yourself. Or an enemy. Funny how easy it is to fudge the facts, or
the figures, when it's to your advantage. |
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9
Other people seem to make a better go of their marriage than you've done,
but you know it's not your fault. You tried your hardest to make it work,
didn't you? Maybe it's time to look around, see if you can find someone
who appreciates you better. Someone a bit more exciting, someone who
doesn't look tired. You deserve a little pleasure in life, don't you? And
you're getting on - you don't want to leave it too late to have some fun. |
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10
If you only had a bit more money, or a really snappy car, or the right
clothes, you would be happy. You know it. Really. So go, go, go until you
get those things. You may have to step on a few people, but it'll be worth it,
because things really can make you happy. |
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Check out the Top Ten Ways to Heaven: BIBLE
TOP TEN: WAYS TO HEAVEN
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Bible Top Ten: Bad Women, Buildings, Films, Heroes, Heroines, Murders,
Perversions, Plagues, Paintings, Slavery, Warriors, Ways to Heaven and
Hell,
Ideas about God, Young People, Kings and Queens, and Villains; Bible
Resource for Old and New Testament Studies
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